Last week, I was having an informal ‘blog-feedback’ talk with a couple of random readers from my college. Random, as in, first I publish a random post which does not usually make sense. Then, I randomly IM/mail my blog’s URL to them, and finally I randomly scrap them on orkut with catchy contents like “If you love your parents, please read this and if you want them to live for a hundred years then please do comment. If you want them to live for another 100 years then write another comment and so on“. Obviously, they don’t love their parents, which is too bad. But all this is done in a completely random fashion. And these folks are not my ‘regular readers’, i.e. they haven’t subscribed to my blog RSS feed. I hope you get the picture.
So, here’s how it went:
Yours Truly: Please give your valuable feedback. We, at Dr. Safety First are always committed for your enterta..
Person 1: (interrupts in between and says impatiently) Why do you always write about Cricket?
YT: Clearly, you haven’t read enough of my blog. Because that is an absolutely baseless allegation.
P1: Yeah whatever. All you’ve been thinking and talking and blogging lately is how Sreesanth made monkey faces to a certain Aussie player. You must know that many people wont like it down under or down south or down in Gulf.
P2: And you must stop cracking jokes on mallus. Its not funny like it is with Sardars and Blondes. There’s a CPI run government in Kerela and they dont want no fuckin’ mallu jokes and nuclear deals.
YT: Orlritee! How many of you think my blog is turning into a cricket blog.
(all the three of them raise their hands)
YT: Orkay. Orkkk. Wait. Hey… you! I never send my blog’s link to you. How do you know?
P3: Eh.. I thought this was one of those ‘hi-five’ games you play in canteen. Is it not?
Question: What do you do when you’re arbitrarily declared the richest man in the world, even when you’re not?
Answer: You gift your wife a shiny new brand Jumbo Jet.
Another Question: Why don’t you just buy something native and indigenous like… uh… Chattisgarh?
Now, Some time ago, I had written about how I was working on a list of the most embarrassing things I have ever done. Well, I couldn’t finish it (you may say I didn’t finish it out of pure sloth and yet I wont take any offense). Still, here are a few of the most embarrassing things I have ever done, cited in a purely (again) random order.
- In my younger and less fatty days, I had once pissed inside a swimming pool and then told everyone about it. How’s that!
- I have earned a bad name for naming things. And even worse for naming myself with the stupidest pseudonyms. Like hunk_in_hell, pratfinder and Neon Zamboski. But now I have grown up and my taste has matured thereby reducing my miserability quotient (MQ). Hence the names and phrases like Dr. Safety First and I’m a carnivore. But yes, even these would remain in the list of most embarrassing names I’ve ever conceived 😀
- I wrote this post with this title.
Alright fine. I suck. But thats what she said.
The reason for my prolonged absence from blogosphere (like you care?) was because I was sent a legal notice by the blogosphere admin which read:
“Please make sense or kindly fuck off”
I had to get a restraining order against this, which basically took most of my time and money. While I was at it, I was also trying to formulate a compromise between the Khan Klan –
In the blue corner we have the defender Aamir Khan, his wife Kiran Rao Khan, ex-wife Reena Dutta (who is on the red corner in an altogether different fight) and Mommy Khan; against, in the red corner, the challenger, Faisal Khan and Poppy Khan.
I suggested the most amiable, guaranteed feasible and deterministically tangible solution – A cage match. They refused. Then I suggested rock-paper-scissor and they appealed for a restraining order against me, which is kind of ironical because that was the reason why I was in the court in the first place. However, we soon reached a settlement and I got my restraining order against the admin. Too bad the Khan thing couldn’t work out. It seems like The red Khans have won the battle for now, but the blue Khans are gearing up for the war. Phew!! Quite a Khandan – no pun intended.Oh, and yes, I was absent because we threw a party and later I was touring. I like when you ask me why I was missing for so long. It makes me feel important.So anyway, this is what I had been up to lately. With a festive vacation ahead, I cant wait to see what else is in store for me? (maybe a few comments on this post??)
Adios and bye.