Author Archives: drsafetyfirst

Day 1998…

… since I last wrote something here. Wow, time flies.

Wonder if this blog is still on anyone’s feed subscriptions. If it is, and if somebody is reading it here, Hi. Hope all is well.

Got a new theme. I liked it. Also, I didn’t put a lot of time in evaluating those. Just picked out one that looked alright. I think it looks fine.

Also wondering if now’s a good time to change the name of the blog. I made this blog when I was 19.  I’ll be turning 30 in a few months. Spent some time reading the older posts and realised how ostentatious I was. And how often. Still, I miss writing here. Somebody said – “If you’re passionate about something, make it a part of your work. This way, you’ll never have to spend a day not liking your work.” Well, I’ve spent the last seven years writing emails every day. I didn’t really think through that quote very well.

Alright then. Later.


Where has love disappeared?

Its rather ironic how people turn towards love when they “need it the most”, when all this while they chose to ignore it when it was staring right in their eyes.

Pretty simple question: What is love? Pretty simple answer: Whatever you want to be. Most people see love as a commodity – for it makes up for the lack of company, for it gives you a reason to dream, for it makes you look forward to something that may perhaps culminate into happiness; into unification.

But its not.

Love is, in fact, a necessity. Like food and water. And forgive me for stereotyping it, but love is as much as critical for one as food and water is. This is not a romantic metaphor for love, its actually a sad melancholy. Love in an indulgence, an addiction that makes you emotionally dependent on itself. And you don’t get to know it as long as you don’t try to fall out of it – and realize, that you cannot.

Dude, You’ve changed!

Recently, a long lost ‘friend’ who found me on (guess where?) orkut posted the said comment in my scrapbook. What could he mean by this now?

  1. Dude, you’ve changed!: The most obvious meaning would refer to the change in one’s physical appearance. Since the said friend saw the last of me five years and fifteen kilos ago, I would (have to) accept his amusement over the change in me.
  2. Dude, you’ve changed!: The most non-obvious meaning of this statement would be when the said friend is commenting on the recent sex change operation you had.
  3. Dude, you’ve changed!: This one would come from a betrayed bachpan ka dost who would find disappointment in you because you have started/stopped smoking/drinking/doping/having sex with animals.
  4. Dude, you’ve changed!: The disheartened bachpan ka dost striking again when you tell him that you dont like Emraan Hashmi and that Pink Floyd is not a condom.
  5. Dude, you’ve changed!: The long lost friend, after another five years, when he would find my appearance similar to George. (Yes, you can’t handle the truth!)


WARNING: The following post is on cricket.

Our latest breed of heroes is out. And no, they’re not Hiro Nakamura, Mohinder Suresh and Isaac Mendez. You guessed it right! They are Harbhajan Singh, Mahendra Singh Dhoni and Ishant Sharma.

In the last one year, Indian Cricket has seen new heights than the Burj Dubai and made more breaking news than Saif – Kareena link up. First it was the World Cup disaster, then it was the ICC World T-20 win, and latest is how we beat Australia “in their own backyard” and how we generously helped South Africa climb up to the top of ICC Team Rankings.

Not to forget the heat generated by the rebel Zee’s Indian Cricket League and the counter heat emitted by BCCI’s “official” Indian Premier League. While ICL managed to make its share of news by contracting some famous and a few infamous players of their time, and also by announcing bumper lotteries for their winners; IPL was also quite successful in the whirl. Unfortunately they could just manage one infamous player (a certain someone from Pakistan who fights thrice, on an average, between dawn and dusk).

Official or not, the Cricket leagues did bring in a lot of money. The IPL auction was anything but modest. On the day of auction, there was so much money in that room that an entire three-part sequel – Ocean’s 14, 15 and 16 – could be plotted, produced and robbed. And yet some money would have been left for the development of Hockey and Athletics. And while all our heroes and Symonds and Ponting would end up being richer by a few million dollars in four years from now, some couldn’t wait that long to be glad about it. And so, we read how UP lad Praveen Kumar got a new brand car as soon as he landed back home.

A new trend was also started, thanks to our young guns becoming crorepatis in a matter of days. Our crorepatis are now gearing up for becoming real patis. At least that’s what I see on hindi news all the time. How danceman Sreesanth gets weak on knees when he hears Priyanka’s name and how Ishant ‘Lambu’ Sharma has a thing for Katrina. And did we hear that Hayden had challenged Ishant for a Boxing Ring match? Well then maybe Lambu should take some Boxing lessons from Salman Khan, of course at his own expense.

Enough for now. I like anticlimax.


My biggest turn off (after bad breast and bad spellin’, that is) is senti. And right now, it seems like senti is definitely in the air!

First, this guy has gone senti over how he has just about a month left before his beloved hostel and college life comes to a still end.

Then there’s this guy (the author points to himself) who’s pretty much feeling the same because of pretty much the same reason. Although he never had a hostel life so he’d probably not miss that one. The rest remains the same however.

I’ve spent the last five years in Indore. Its exactly the same time which I spent in Bhopal before I moved to Indore. Is it mere coincidence or jinx? Only time will tell. But what I know, as of now, is that I’ll never be more senti than now in the coming few years.

Just like high school, college is an experience to live for. It taught me a lot: love, hate, adjustments, compromises, betrayals, wins, losses. It also taught me how to pass an exam using the least possible effort, but that’s an altogether different matter. College taught me to accept victories humbly and to face defeats triumphantly.

College gave me friends. Phony and real. College also taught me to differentiate between the two. Just like all of you, even I found some of the nicest people on this earth sitting next to me in my class or waving hysterically to me in the parking. Some also followed me all the way to the canteen only to amuse themselves while I dated their respective crushes. And I wrote the previous line only to amuse myself.

Today, in canteen over a cup of cutting chai, I asked a friend if he was feeling senti over leaving this place. He gave a very politically correct answer: he wouldn’t miss the place (the college, hostel, city, canteen etc) but he’d miss the friends he made here. He called them ‘friends for life’.

I could somehow foresee that whatever he was saying wasn’t coming completely from his heart. Deep down I knew he would miss the place – the college campus, the classes, the canteen, hostel, and the city. What he wouldn’t miss would be the ‘friends for life’ that he made here, because they’ll be his friends for life. You dont miss something that you already have, you miss some thing that you dont have anymore. He will miss the place. And so would each one of us.

I will miss this place.

A – Z Tag

I dont like tags. This one came from Bose.

A-Age: 21 Years, 26 weeks and 4 days.

B-Band listening to right now: The Doors

C-Career (plan): Vague. Join IT&S and leave it before they throw me out.

D-Drink or Smoke: Drink – Not really. Smoke – No.

E-Easiest friends to talk to: Almost Everyone.

F-Funniest moment of your life: When bose yelled out B-E-H-E-N-C-H-O-D infront of his parents. That was fun!

G-Gummy bears or gummy worms: Gummy Bears

H-Have a girlfriend?: Nope.

I-In love: Guess not.

J-Junk food you like: Aam-late Paav.

K-Kids: Shamless rascals they are.

L-Longest ride ever: I think it was somewhere in June ’06. I rode to Bhopal and came back almost immediately. That was roughly 450 kms.

M-Man/woman you love the most: Aai.

N-Names for your kids: boy – Abhimanyu / girl – Rhea

O-One wish you have now: Pass.

P-Phobias: I’m scared of two things: 1) People touching my feet. 2) Drowning in the fuckin’ ocean on a stupid Banana Ride. (In that order)

Q-Quote (favorite): “I would have been better if I wouldn’t be me.”

R-Reasons to smile: Aai, Friends and Failures.

S-Sleeping hours: Around Midnight

T-Time you woke up: Today? 6:30 am.

U-Unknown fact about you: I am probably the biggest fattu I have ever seen.

V-Vegetable you hate: Lady’s finger

W-Worst habit: Swearing and Snoring.

X-X-rays you’ve had: Left and Right Forearms, Right Arm, Right foot, Chest, Jaws, Forehead and skull, Nose etc.

Y-Yummy foods: I hate it when Bird Flu is around.

Z-Zodiac sign: Cancer.

I tag: You

uh.. um.. er.. hmm… well.

Let us momentarily shift our focus from ‘Rising Trends in Indian economy beating the odds’ – which is the primary agenda of this blog as a whole – to something less interesting called World Sports.

First up, Cricket. Rahul Dravid scored a lazy double ton against Mumbai while playing for Karnataka (home to the silicon valley of India and office to BJP/ JD(S)/President of India). Of the 5 over-the-top boundaries that he hit magnificently, one went straight in the media room and a label was found attached to the ball having this written on it:

In YOUR face!

But since the label was addressed to an anonymous Chairman of Selectors by an anonymous former national captain, BCCI promptly concluded that it must have been some young cricket enthusiast’s prank and that it need not be taken seriously.

But Martina Hingis had to be taken very seriously. Doping is serious affair and use of prescription or non-prescription drugs always adds up as a downward boost to one’s career, unless you are either a former Finance/Foreign minister from India or a Pakistani pace bowler who randomly keeps attacking fellow players and then compares himself to Salman Khan. And the most predictable part of doping is seen in Indian athletics. Every year, a couple of lesser known athletes go abroad to get stoned and then test positive to some random performance enhancing drug. Then they return gloriously back home claiming their innocence and blaming their coaches. Its really that simple.

So when Martina Hingis re-retired this week, many were not surprised. But when she announced that she was being probed for testing positive for drugs during Wimbledon this year, many started wondering if drugs has sabotaged another world sport under its vicious grip. Also, Hingis hired an army of lawyers who promised her to bring out the flaws in the drug testing policies of the concerned agency. But no money back guarantee there.

But Dilip Vengsarkar’s woes don’t end here. Right after he dropped the lesser known class B players, he had to take a hit when those very folks who were belittled by our colonel just two days ago smashed and destroyed others in the Challenger Series. And now this! Perhaps the colonel has done a slight miscalculation. Or perhaps, as some from Jharkhand might argue, it was a right step which was taken by keeping the future of Indian Cricket in mind. Just like Greg Chappell had done.

Coming back to dope again, Strings – the Paki band came all the way duuuu SS uuuuuuu SS uuuuuu SS uuuuuuuuuuuuu rr from you know where to IIM Indore to perform last week. The guys are okay. They’d have played more if the electricity arrangement at IIM wouldn’t have faltered and exposed the fraud that was behind it. Also, they’d have liked more if those Nanda Nagar guys didn’t say those nice things about their mothers and sisters, and also if the other folks didn’t ask for their money back. But how is this related to dope? In the same way as their mothers are related to us.

But if anybody is actually reading this, an awesome indigenous band called Grim Reapers opened for Strings, played some really good retro classics which nobody ever heard and yet managed to pull up quite a roar. So, Kudos, guys. Also, their vocal guy Digvijay is a megalomaniac having long hairs and a healthy appetite for rum and humor. I suspect he’s also a gigolo, but dont tell him please. So, if you happen to pass by Indore some unlucky day, make sure to catch up with these guys On the Rocks at Velocity. And if you end up hating them as much as I did, please do pay them.