Sentiman

My biggest turn off (after bad breast and bad spellin’, that is) is senti. And right now, it seems like senti is definitely in the air!

First, this guy has gone senti over how he has just about a month left before his beloved hostel and college life comes to a still end.

Then there’s this guy (the author points to himself) who’s pretty much feeling the same because of pretty much the same reason. Although he never had a hostel life so he’d probably not miss that one. The rest remains the same however.

I’ve spent the last five years in Indore. Its exactly the same time which I spent in Bhopal before I moved to Indore. Is it mere coincidence or jinx? Only time will tell. But what I know, as of now, is that I’ll never be more senti than now in the coming few years.

Just like high school, college is an experience to live for. It taught me a lot: love, hate, adjustments, compromises, betrayals, wins, losses. It also taught me how to pass an exam using the least possible effort, but that’s an altogether different matter. College taught me to accept victories humbly and to face defeats triumphantly.

College gave me friends. Phony and real. College also taught me to differentiate between the two. Just like all of you, even I found some of the nicest people on this earth sitting next to me in my class or waving hysterically to me in the parking. Some also followed me all the way to the canteen only to amuse themselves while I dated their respective crushes. And I wrote the previous line only to amuse myself.

Today, in canteen over a cup of cutting chai, I asked a friend if he was feeling senti over leaving this place. He gave a very politically correct answer: he wouldn’t miss the place (the college, hostel, city, canteen etc) but he’d miss the friends he made here. He called them ‘friends for life’.

I could somehow foresee that whatever he was saying wasn’t coming completely from his heart. Deep down I knew he would miss the place – the college campus, the classes, the canteen, hostel, and the city. What he wouldn’t miss would be the ‘friends for life’ that he made here, because they’ll be his friends for life. You dont miss something that you already have, you miss some thing that you dont have anymore. He will miss the place. And so would each one of us.

I will miss this place.

Juiced Up!

A lot has been happening over the last few days.

India won the Inaugural ICC World Twenty20 Championship. Please note that is what it is officially called. Its not twenty20 World Cup. We did not bring back the World Cup back to India after 24 years. We brought the First ICC World Twenty20 Championship home. So that’s a good thing.

India’s run in the tournament was quite a fairytale story, which I’m sure all of you know. So there’s no point in repeating it all over again. But the Grand finale was nothing short of a nail biting, goose bumping, hyper thrilling adventure. We won with 3 balls and five runs to spare. What followed was creation of a history, a whimsical dance involving the Singhs of Team India – RP, Harbhajan, Yuvraj and Mahendra – quite literally, and the most hilarious comments of the tournament showdown. These were:

• Shoiab Malik wanting to thank Muslims throughout the world.
• Shahid Afridi congratulating the Indian Nations for winning the match, cup and the long lost love of their countrymen and money god.

But it didn’t end there. This was again followed by some of the most dramatic and emotionally charged remarks by the winning captain, MS Dhoni, who prefers being called a skipper over a captain.

Also present to cheer them up were two kings. The King of bollywood and the King of good times (and an F1 team). While SRK dropped no catches while sporting the Michael Jackon look and Om Shanti Om T-shirt (and he also made the most politically correct remark ever made by a bollywood actor in Johannesburg: ‘I am here to support my country’s young team who have played really well in this tournament, who are playing against another team who have also done pretty well.’ Dammit! That explains Shoaib Malik’s remarks. Perhaps he was just trying to be politically correct, or perhaps his English sucks.)

While SRK was busy hugging our victorious young guns, Vijay Mallya was busy in taking a few marketing decisions with Sharad Pawar. Here’s how it went.

SP: Air India Sucks. We want Kingfisher to be our official airliner. This way our boys would not have to freak out in foreign pubs looking for foreign chics.

VM: That would be just great. But we’re not allowed to fly international.

SP: Dont worry about that. Prafull Patel will look into it. He’s my man!

VM: Great! Speaking of which, I so want to fuck that Olympic Association guy’s ass. What’s his name?

SP: I dont know. Dalmiya? Or is it Kalmadi? Dont worry about them. Both would be taken care of. Tell me what have you got for me?

VM: Oh… I had to leave in a hurry. So I got you something from the duty-free store at the Airport. I hope that would be fine.

SP: Yeah sure. Suck up.

Meanwhile, the boys had a warm (and kinda wet) reception back in the country where they were taken for a ride. The skipper again had some memorable words for the media (this guy has so much to offer other than his hair!). At the center of it, the folks in the hockey camp couldn’t bear any of it. Apparently, some of them along with their coach have decided to go on a hunger strike to protest against the step-motherly treatment given to them and their sport.

Now I agree with them, partly. That their sport is getting a step-motherly treatment. But why do you want to compare dal fry with murgh afghani? Besides being a matter of preference, it has another important matter associated with it, (i.e. chicken). Now jokes apart, dal is our indigenously accepted national dish, just like hockey. We all love dal and we think of it most of the times we’re hungry. Just like we think of a hockey stick most of the time we’re hungry (for blood). But we go to hotel to eat murgh afgani. It costs more, and more importantly others pay for it while we eat it. That’s pretty much like cricket.

1. It generates good income. So good that America might just attack us for it.
2. We dont win very often. But cash inflow is on a regular basis. So, the few times when we win, we deserve a murgh afghani. Please note the rhetoric.
3. And also because cricket could get over the menace of Dalmiya, while hockey still sucks up to Gill.

However, Hockey is not the only thing Indian Cricket is helping to get its share of attention. The others include Pakistani boys who are either thrown out of the team because of loss of form, or because they beat the shit out of other players. Two Pakistani cricket players, Mohd Yousuf and Shoaib Akhtar triumphantly claimed they had delicious ICL Murgh Afghani offers, but both declined because they wanted to play and eat for their country. Yeah sure! If that fails, you can take either the singing route or the siachen route to infiltrate in my country. We love you singing plagiarized songs for us. We also love to shoot you in your ass and then make Sunny Deol and Suniel Shetty movies about it.

Besides this, there has been so much in the last few days. Long story short. Here’s a list.

• I am enjoying The Office so much that I cant explain. I saw the entire season 3 and would see the first episode later today, as soon as it gets on youtube.
• I bought two books. I got Shantaram, which was in my wishlist for more than an year now. And I also got an Agatha Christie book to bring myself in the zone, since I didnt read anything in six months. The Agatha Christie book will now be read after Shantaram is done and through with.
• I am having weird dreams involving anacondas, crocs, sex, archbishops and one of the girls in my college. Also I dont feel hungry very often.
• I took three IQ tests. All confirmed my IQ to be between 129-135, which is slightly better than when it was last checked two years ago (126). This can also be verified by reading some of the posts that I wrote two years ago. Anyway, for the record, it is 35% higher than an average American’s IQ, and close to 60% higher than Indian average. Hmm.
• Also, I am seriously working on a list of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever done. I hope to get it done before I write my next post, which by the way, will be soon enough.

So here it is. My best post ever. Just like I promised you. Or did I? Never mind.

This is fiction.

“Excuse me! Do you mind?”

“Oh! Sorry.”

“Hey! Its you!”

“Yeah… Good to see you too.”

“Same here. So, whats up? what have you been up to? Long time since we me met? What? About an year?”

“Yeah. Just about an year. What have you been up to?”

“Ohh dont ask. I’ve been through hell in the last one year. Its a long story.”

“I have all the time…”

“I’m sure you have. But first tell me where the hell have you been?”

“I have been traveling.”

“Traveling where?”

“Here and there.”

“And where have you been living?”

“In the woods.”

“What?”

“Never mind. You were saying something?”

“Yeah. I was saying I’ve been through hell. Life has been pretty much on the rocks. Especially since dad passed away.”

“How long has it been?”

“Three hundred and sixty-four days. You know.”

“Hmm.”

“Life has sort of taken a U turn. Nothing seems to make sense. I am very worried about how things will go ahead.”

“Dont worry you’ll be fine. I assure you.”

“Thanks. “

“So, what brings you here? Bored of normal life?”

“Yes. That, and I went to Tirupati.”

“Good. I never expected you to travel to lord’s shrine. Alone.”

“I never expected you to show up here. I had been looking for you for quite some time now.”

“I know.”

“So, what have you been doing lately?”

“I said I’ve been traveling. You are still pretty absent minded and redundant. Just like before. You never listened to what I or anybody said!”

“Did you?”

“No”

“That’s it. I have my moments.”

“How was your Tirupati Trip? Any special purpose?”

“Yeah. Sort of.”

“Ok. So are you planning to visit again?”

“Yeah I’d love to. If everything goes by the plan, perhaps in the next one year.”

“I am finding a drastic change in you. Does this mean you have finally started taking responsibility?”

“I am not the judge here.”

“How are the folks at Indore?”

“They’re good. We talk about you.”

“How often?”

“Quite often.”

“Okay.”

“You want me to say hello to them? On your behalf, of course.”

“I’ll catch up with them. Thanks.”

“Sure.”

“Hey, my destination is here. I’ll have to get going.”

“What? Wait! How do I contact you? Your cell phone’s been switched off for an year!”

“You’ll have to rely on rendezvous like today only. I’ll be kind of busy anyway.”

“But…?”

“And yes, Happy New Year!”

“Yeah but why now? Its still two days. Aren’t you gonna call me?”

“Uhm.. I’ll try, of course. But I just dont want to miss it.”

“Like you did last year?”

“Like I did last year.”

“Okay. Happy new year to you too.”

“This has a whole new meaning. I gotta go now!”

“But where do you live? I’ll come to see you if you cant come. Tell me where do you stay?”

“There’s a bridge. Of wood. Yeah… A bridge of wood.”

“‘Bridge of Wood’. What a weird place to stay! Lakdi ka pool?”

…………………………………………………………………………………

“Lakdi ka pool! Idharich Utarneka hey na tumareko?”

“Huh?”

“Sir, would you like a vegitarian breakfast? Or Non-veg?”
“Is it free?”
“Yes, its included in the fare.”

This was the first time I was travelling aboard the New-Delhi – Bhopal Shatabdi Express, then the fastest train in India (140 kmph). This was way back in 1999, and I remember the embarrassed look on Aai’s face when I had asked that stupid question.

Seven years later.

“Excuse me? Here.”
“Yes sir?”
“Can I have some extra soup?”
“Certainly. That would be Rs. 50 only.”
“What? But I thought it was included in the fare?”
“Umm… Not for the second time.”

This was the last (as in, previous) time I was travelling aboard the New-Delhi – Bhopal Shatabdi Express, still the fastest train in India (150 kmph). This was yesterday and I’m trying to forget the embarrassed look on the steward’s face.

Thank goodness Aai was not around this time.