Crap Tag

Considering the bright prospects of wasting your time here, we at Dr. Safety First, are committed to provide you regular and irregular dosage of seriously damned and crap things to read and do other things with. The following topic has been copied from here (since it mentioned “Anyone desperate to post and facing a severe lack of ideas is free to pick this one up.“)

1. Yourself: Lets divide my eventful life into two parts. One part be of the things that I’m not proud of, and the other part of the things that I’m proud of.

Not Proud of:

a) I’m Fat, Dark and Ugly.
b) I have an acknowledged Criminal Record. 8 FIRs in all – 2 among them in my name; listed as unsub in other six. But no case has ever been initiated against me.
c) I have a total of 14 fractured bones here and there.
d) 54 stiches on my body, at discrete locations.
e) At least two rods reside in my right arm, which is slightly bent, but more efficiently functioning than most normal arms.
f) I have survived Hepatitis B. Besides, I’ve also survived normal jaundice.
g) I have survived a skull tumor.
h) I am egoist and chauvinistic.
i) I ran away from my house. Twice.

Proud of:

a) I dont smoke, drink and do drugs.
b) I dont watch pirated movies. (But I do listen to pirated music. All the time.)
c) I have never failed in school. (I was never even in the top league. But what the heck?)
d) I score good grades in college.
e) I can kick anybody’s ass. With absoultely no exception.
f) I can beat the fuck out of anyone, with some exceptions.
g) I dont fall heads down looking at babes.

2. Your girlfriend/spouse: One each, in my dreams. In reality none/none.

3. Your hair: They Grow Black and are disappearing faster than gasoline on the planet.

4. Your mother: is coming to town tomorrow.

5. Your father: Was taller than me. Thats the reason I always look up to him.

6. Your favorite item: is a journal that contains letters that my friends wrote to me. I have (almost) all the letters still kept at hand. One is still missing. Fuck. (again)

7. Your dream last night: I scored a tenner! But all others scored 12. WTF!

8. Your favorite drink: Water. I dont like it, but do I have a choice?

9. Your dream car: Tata Safari 4×4 VX DICOR.

10. The room you are in: has the most number of windows, doors and ventilators in this house. It also has the least area and volume (except the bathroom, maybe).

11. Your fear: No physical entity. The only thing I’m apprehensive of is my conscience.

12. What do you want to be in 10 years? Rich and Honest.

13. Who you hung out with last night? Abhishek Thakur and Raunak Yadav (…like they’re gonna read this and get flattered). And that is poor English, bee tee double-you.

14. What you’re not? James Blunt and Justin Timberlake.

15. Muffins: I like those at the bakery.

16. One of your wish list items: See (9)

17. Time: is prime. Here’s how:

T+I+M+E = 20+9+13+5 = 47 (Prime);
4+7 = 11 (Prime);
1+1 = 2 (Prime).

And yes, I made it on my own. Also,

(11 * 4) + 3 = 47; likewise,
(2 * 4) + 3 = 11.

I’m good in Logical Reasoning.

18. The last thing you did: Typed the character ‘r’.

19. What are you wearing? I’ll tell if you send a babe to remove it.

20. Your favorite weather: I dont give a fuck.

21. Your favorite book: The Godfather.

22. The last thing you ate: Traditional Indian Thali meal.

23. Your life: Lets not talk about it.

24. Your mood: Somewhere between angry, frustrated and upset.

25. Your best friend: will know he/she is my best friend. Thanks for asking anyway.

26. What are you thinking about right now? How dumb is this thing? And why am I doing it. Still?

27. Your car: I dont own a car.

28. What are you doing at the moment? Fantacising an orgy with Shakeela and Monica Potter. Would you like to join? Sex no bar.

29. Your summer: The only good thing about it is that I can use my suppa kewl kewler. (remember? the one which gives post orgasm type of satisfaction)

30. Your relationship status: Frustoo.

31. What is on your TV? Dust.

32. What is the weather like? Ok. For the last time. I DONT GIVE A FUCK.

33. When is the last time you laughed? On 13th January, while having dinner with Sankalp in Bhusawal.

If you are still reading this, heartiest congratulations, (No Sarcasm intended).

And yes, I almost forgot. Anyone desperate to post and facing a severe lack of ideas is free to pick this one up.

“I wasted almost the entire sunday reading your blog.”

This was an arbit comment by someone I know that made me reopen this closed chapter. It was never completely closed; but it was pretty much nearing the state of my IIT-JEE books – They’re still with me, for god knows why?

Its not that I’m here because I have nothing better (or worse) to do. The above comment had a sort of strong impact on my conscience. It made me read all my posts again till today, just to find some clue about something about which I have no clue anyway. But more than anything else, it confused me to infinity. What can it possibly mean? That somebody ‘wasted’ their day by reading my blog (i.e. they could have done something more eventful otherwise). Or is my blog so pathetic that it actually made made somebody feel wasted? Either way, its not a nice feeling – unfortunately.

If the case is former, I’d rather leave no comment.

If not, it raises an important question. What is so pathetic about my blog? I’ve had both criticism and praise for my stuff – most prominent criticism insisting that I had no ‘real’ topics to blog about, or that I got too personal with my blog, and that I write pulp-fiction. It is for this reason that I decided to review all my previous postings, so that I can get an idea of what’s going (rather, what went) wrong? Unfortunately, I didn’t get any. You can blame me for being biased (but not racial; of course it does not fit anywhere anyway), but honestly I didnt find anything new.

But I did realise that the most prominent criticism about my blog was quite true. Pity it took me so long to realize? Well, as they say Time is the greatest teacher (or something like that).

Anyway, in retrospect (when I was reading all my posts, again) I did feel overjoyed. Sometimes by the stories (Most were true with some element of fiction here and there), sometimes by the good humour, and some other times by otherwise. It is good to know that people read your stuff for what it is – good, bad or/and crap.

So this is it. After numerous attempts of proclaiming that this is my comeback post, and I’m here to recreate the magic; let me honestly (and humbly) admit that the magic has already been created and recreating it so soon doesnt appear to be a very thought provoking idea. On the contrary, some things get revived as they get older. Like school photographs, wine, love-letter (if it qualifies, and there was just one, which has been misplaced. Fuck.), and my blog.

Go ahead and waste your sundays here. It might just be fun.

And by the way, this was not my comeback post.