Kewl

This was the most apt title this post could ever have. If you’re the among the lesser known computer illiterates, kewl is the metrosexual for cool which is too common and repetitive in nature. Moreover, Kewl is also pronounced like an extremely wacky word which is common for geeky nerds like me. So I’ve kinda started putting words in this accent (Originally picked from Sankalp who originally picked it from Anand or Apocalypse, i guess). Below is a list of other words which could be moulded like this:

• fewl – for fuel
• fewl – as in ‘you fool’
• chew – as in chew
• chew – as in chew*
• chew – as in chew****
• flew – Bird flew
• flew – Bird flu

Enough I guess. You get what I mean, eh?

But the reason I’m feeling so kewl these days is because my suppa kewl kewler is back in action, giving me immense post-orgasm type of satisfation when I sleep.

Jessica
On a serious note, You must have heard justice delayed is justice denied. But what do you call ‘Justice delayed and eventually denied after freaking seven years?’. I dont intend to take any names here. Yesterday, I heard Mr X, one of the key eyewitnesses of the case, who eventually changed his testimony – then an aspiring model, now a struggling actor – saying something like this “I dont want to comment on this. Its been long time since it happened, and I’ve moved on…” (not quoted) and blah blah. Now I am no activist, and I have business in my life to attend to, and I’m stuck unhappily with it, but the judgement by the lower court (apparently because of lack of evidence… Yeah right – LACK OF EVIDENCE) has made me a little scared. There is at least one murderer out there in open.

Migrating Roads
Indore is widely regarded as a city which is trying to come out from its Cultural-Heritage-type-of image and trying to fit in the shoes of a metro. And more confused than its planners – then and now – are the people who travel on its Roads. Take for instance NH-3 Agra – Mumbai Road. Indore is situated perfectly midway between The Taj Mahal and the Taj (The Hotel). Now unlike other cities falling on AB road (viz Gwalior, Nasik etc), Indore is firmly based on both the sides of the highway. So enter Dewas-Naka (or Rajendra Nagar) and AB road becomes the lifeline of 4 million odd people of Indore with cyclists, scooterists, bikists, carists, tempoists, autoists, busists (Mini Busists, City Busists, School Busists, Staff Busists, Intercity Busists etc busists) and walkists claiming it as their baap-dada’s property. It is interesting to see the car driver looking in his rear view mirror and identifying to his horror the man who just bumped his car’s bumper is the husband of his bum neighbourhood aunty. (In case you didn’t notice, the last line was my miserable attempt at Hip-Hop).

Internals Over, Yay!
Finally, I gave all the five tests. Though I was told that my case was ‘considered’ because of the circumstances I had been in, I later found out to my immense displeasure that I already had the minimum attendance. The BF accidently forgot my name and told me somebody else’s attendance. I wonder if they had ‘considered’ someone else against me in the first place. Anyway, internals were good. I taught her again, and then forgot all the ethics I had been following and imparting to the rest of the world when I showed her my entire answer copy. Its a different matter that even I had no clue what I had written. Kinda uncommon with me, but very occasional disorder with many Technology students.

Boston Legal
The sequel to ‘The Practice’ is speculated to arrive on indian sitcom very soon. The Practice ended its final season in India last October and its been long since I’ve laughed hilariously at any of Alan Shore’s ridiculous insults, or to that matter, simulated sex with Tara (pronounced like Thara in Tharak) and her cleavage.

“Main Mastram ka Ghulam ban gaya hu”

Room Service

Ok. So I’m supposed to wake up at four and write Principles and Practices of Management. But what I’m doing is that I’m actually implementing all the practices of management that I had learnt just because I had completely forgotten this when I had set the alarm last night – I’m debarred from giving the freaking test!

WordPress

So what if nobody gives a damn to this, but I feel its my responsible duty to inform all my patient readers why I moved here – jeopardizing my (blog’s) popularity on blogspot and move in search of greener pastures. Well, Carnivores are supposed to be nomadic. Aren’t they? I mean what if all the meat finishes at some place by the end of the century and all the news channels start broadcasting the helpline numbers for bird flu which has come to the nearest town? I guess the carnivore must go ahead and look forward in life.

Simultaneously, some people didn’t approve of my old blog’s popularity. They accused me of writing personal shyt and frustoo-loaded posts to gain popularity (in contrast to their lesser known non-personal ‘Sunrise’ kind of blog’s infamous identity). Maybe some people must realise that the content is worthier than their good-for-nothing vocabulary which contains incomprehensible words like ’sceptical’, ‘brimming’, ‘exemplifying’ etc etc. So, moral of the story – welcome to wordpress, though it’ll take some time for you to regain your mantle here, but thou shalt kick everyone’s goddam a$$.

Debarred
Yas baby, I dids it!

After a prolonged illness of more than one semester, I’m back to the old. Yesterday it was announced that I was debarred from giving the internals in at least two subjects – PPM (4/9) and SAD (7/13). Dont panic if you dont understand what these abbreviations mean (even I dont). So many might think that i’m just doing it all deliberately to showcase my eight point attitude (*ahem* Yes I am, thank you!), but its not really like this. Now lets hope the BF (supposed to be Batch Facilitator, but you are free to make your own dirty meanings) considers my case and allows me to appear. Highly unlikely though.

(Added Later)

I came to know during the day that I’m not being debarred from giving the internals. Apparently the BF was impressed by the services I had rendered (includes re-filling their water bottles and bringing two freaking bottles of cola from the market – not canteen – MARKET – for the two of them. And then also returning the left over change to them as a mark of courtesy). So there are the following advantages:

1. I get to appear in the internals. This will boost my studious image, which has now become a synonym with the moochh.
2. The appreciation which I recieved for my notes (read: Of the notes and bullshyt) will finally be of some use to me.
3. I get to teach ‘her’ (again). Other way round, I’ll study. So this would definitely help in making a good impression over her. It must be reminded that the level of study, or intelligence, or hardwork, or all of it put together – does not effect your grades.

And the disadvantages:

1. I get to appear in internals. It will be no good because in any case I’ll be appearing in defaulters for self-improvement (strategy changed # since 5th sem).
2. It has been observed in the past that appreciation done by hardcore enemies is either sign of love, or conspiracy. The chances of the former are juz juz juz zero.
3. So I teach her again, and then she brings better grades than me again, and then one day she says this: “I dont like people calling me everyday“.

But hell… I’m giving the test.

Of the notes and bullshyt

So baady is really upset because i didnt come to his birthday bash. And more so, I even flunked the dinner plan he had made specially to blast me off with gratitude. Anyway, to finish this matter all for once (awr atlist till his naixt barday), I had to take him to the canteen. And as usual – I became the host. I hope to get the most of my entertainment tax’s returns back on 24th. Its Pandayji’s birthday, and I’m going to suck his card before he runs to Kentucky this summer.

It seems someone’s trying to talk to me. The other day I overheard Miss X (hate her)- who’s like my biggest critic- appreciating my notes, apparently knowing that they were my notes and I hate her and she hates me back. So does this mean we’re heading for a truce? Nah.. I’m just kidding.

Ego

This one is really tricky. You must have faced at least one of them somewhere down the time-line. I had to face this question twice in the last one month. And the million dollar question is:

Ek baat poochhu? Bura to nahi maanoge?

Now how would you react to this question knowing that it is specifically targeted to make you feel like Narain Karthikeyan (I’ve sweared not to use the word ‘loser’ again…). Last month when I was asked this question i had replied:

“Dunno… I may feel bad, but you go ahead nevertheless”.

*Argh* I tell you it hurt me so badly, I was feeling nostalgic for 2-3 days. So when I was asked the same question by another girl yesterday, the void unrequiredUnhealthyHumour () method of my system generated the following output:

“Dunno… I may feel bad. And if it really hurts, then I might just stop calling you all at once. But you go ahead nevertheless”.

It hurt even this time, but when I think of it now, I have a sheepish grin on my face.
Epilogue
I think I’ve already written so much that you’d probably need a leap year for finishing it. Still I’m hopeful I’ll be back with some interesting stuff in the coming days. I can see a promising weekend ahead. Remember: Internals… debarred…

Moving along…

And even when you’ve paid enough, been pulled apart or been held up
Because every single memory of the good or bad faces of luck
don’t lose any sleep tonight
I’m sure everything will end up alright

you may win or lose

But to be yourself is all that you can do
to be yourself is all that you can do

P.S. Coming very soon.

Back To The Lab Again…

“Abe Neta! Ye nakli mooch laga ke college kyo aagaya?”
Ye asli hai bhai.
“Abe? To… Par… Lekin… Abe kintu ye mooch rakhi kyo hai?”
Aise hi. Kyo yaar? Itna issue kyo bana rahe ho?
“Kyoki aap chutiye lag rahe ho bhiya”
Abe ab mooch to rahegi. Tumko aadat daalni padegi aise hi dekhne ki.
“Ab to aadat si hai mujhkoSSooSSoo aise jeene mein…”

Yes its true. Ladies and Gentlemen, presenting before you the latest avatar of Arjun: A good-for-nothing face with a (soon to be) trademark moustache. A person with a keen eye… or perhaps, even without an eye can easily distinguish it from a quarter of a mile. Add to it, the bulky hundred-and-something-something pounds of unladen weight of mine, and I get the first compliment of the day: Yay! Dhoom wale Uncle!!Until yesterday, the naïve next-door kid would address me as ‘Dhoom wale bhaiya jo ek tyre pe wheelie maarte hai’. And today, he was seldom getting confused whether it was me or my father. Next came P, my ex-classmate. She was going somewhere (apparently crossing me in the way), I looked at her, she looked at me, aur ho gayi mushkil… aur isi mushkil me aake wo mujhse takra gayi. The moustache was showing its… worthiness. Another one ran into me, and one more almost started running to me. But sometimes, gents’ toilets can be like Robin Singh – Ready to help anytime.

The first time I shaved was way back in ninth class. Since I didn’t had any hair on face to shave then, it was naturally not a very nice experience. Soon after, a fine line of soft hair appeared around my lips. And then after two more patient years, I had considerable hair on my face to make shave a not-so-painful process. But in those two years, I became kind of habitual to the moustache, and so I didn’t give my moustache. It stuck with me for a good three years till that fateful day, when I made a Charlie Chaplin of myself for the School Fate shit. The moustache was gone, and I looked younger. I was about to be a fresher in college. It was high time for me to come out from the white-shirt-steel-grey-trousers-navy-blue-tie-black-shoes-look and get into a metro sexual persona.

Over the next two years, I kept on experimenting with my faces in general. None of them were any good to be worth a pic (Except for the one which is in my orkut profile, and the seedha-saadha one in the passport, and the bandana-clad early man in N’s Birthday party). In the first year, I was mostly cleanly shaved, and then cleanly after shaved. Sometimes, I’d keep a French for a fortnight. The most superhit formula was that of keeping an Italian Beard (which was show-roomed by Suniel Shetty in Kaante), but somehow, I didn’t like it at all.

When it comes to maintenance, I can beat any Indian Airline. So the Italian beard wasted up to the normal gajar-ghaas, and the French beard would soon look like an unguarded fence; Remember Kapil Dev when he cried foul on the Karan Thapar Show on BBC? Yeah, something like that… though not really that bad.

Since then and until recently, I was an irregular customer at the barber’s, and he used to remind me once in every month for a haircut/shave/face-massage/hair-color and all etcetera services which they provide. I quite liked the stubble that Abhishek Bachchan has sported lately, and for the first time they agree with me on this issue.

Papa Kehte the…
My Father was a strong supporter of ‘Save the Moochh’ Campaign. He didn’t have the “moochhe ho to natthulal jaisi” but he used to proudly accept that his were the original moustache (Even without a single shave). He lived with them, and… he lived with them.

So, after a 360-degree flashback tour, we’re back to step 1. Yes, I have a moustache now, and I’m liking it because mooch nahi to koochh nahi (What a loserish reason!)

Epilogue
Sankalp,
No more frustoo-loaded posts, no more the-great-Indian-loser show on Dr. Safety First. Its Max X time, and we’re coming.

that’s when it’s
Back to the lab again yo
This whole rap city
He better go capture this moment and hope it don’t pass him

You better…