Seven Things…

Seven things you plan to do before you die.

1. Purchase a LARGE Penthouse in Hiranandani/Gurgaon.
2. Adopt a Labrador.
3. Own a Phantom.
4. Lease a Maybach.
5. Have a kid with a woman who loves me more than anything else.
6. Make love with the woman whom I love(d) more than anything else.
7. Measure entire India on a Royal Enfield.

Seven things you can do.

1. Make love with the woman whom I love(d) more than anything else.
2. Cook an extremely well-made (cant say tasty) Omlette.
3. Travel to Mumbai(600), Shimla(1100), Kovalam(2000), Jamshedpur(dunno), Leh(faaaaaar), and Hyderabad(850) on my bike. Starting from Indore everytime.
4. Adjust.
5. Apologise.
6. Dance (This might come as a surprise to many, but yes, I can dance pretty well…)
7. Kick anyone’s goddamn ass.

Seven things you can’t do.

1. Save.
2. Control.
3. Compromise.
4. Understand why I am such a big loser when it comes to love.
5. Read Sidney Sheldon.
6. Smoke.
7. Drink.

Seven things that attract you to the opposite sex.

1. Common sense.
2. Independence (esp when it comes to money).
3. Passion for something, anything.
4. Ability to laugh at herself.
5. Practicality.
6. Ability to abuse freely.
7. Similar taste in movies.
(I stand in total agreement with Nish)

Seven things you say most.

1. But the besht was…
2. Hail Pommy.
3. You’re wrong. Take thIs.
4. I’m gay. (In response to all those who ask “How are you?”)
5. Hallo Aai…
6. Yaar aaj se gaali bakna chhod di.
7. Bhenchod.

Seven celebrity crushes.

1. Julia Roberts.
2. Charlize Theron. (Monster)
3. Charlize Theron. (The Italian Job)
4. Charlize Theron. (Waking Up in Reno)
5. Charlize Theron. (The Cider House Rules)
6. Charlize Theron. (Sweet November)
7. Charlize Theron. (The Brazilian Job – 2006)

I’m Nemesis

Wanna take this test? Here!

Intelligent DOS

I made an Intelligent DOS!

BSNL Sucks! … or does it??

BSNL, The Bull Shit Nigam Limited (No offences… you’ll know why) has always been a pain-in-the-ass for all the junta across India. And all throughout my life I’ve always known that it sucked, it sucks, and it’ll suck till either you die or the government declares it soluble, and goes for disinvestment.

My first encounter with BSNL was way back in 1995, when I was a fifth class kiddo. Dad brought the form for a telephone connection, and I had asked him then: pappa… kitte din me phone aayega? Dad said thoughtfully: Maybe in 6 months, beta. We finally had a telephone connection at our house when I passed class Sixth. Since then, I’ve had this BSNL nostalgia.

Aai has a BSNL connection. And everytime I call her, my immense love for her increases. After around 20 trys and so much increased love, I finally get to speak with her.

Last tuesday, I applied for BSNL BroadBand. I wanted to enquire the time-delay in its installation. These are the answers i got:

Call Center Lady: Immediately

Office Clerk1: 2 days

Office Clerk2: 6 days

Accountant: 3 days

Peon: 7 days

I submitted the form and fulfilled the formalities. I was expecting them for installation on friday. They didn’t come. Not on Saturday. I gave hope on Sunday. I resumed hope on Monday… they still didn’t show up. Finally, I was so frustrated that I decided to call them. The first Three calls to the call-center, Main Exchange, and Local Exchange (respectively) were useless because they just gave me each-other’s telephone nos. Sick by now, I decided to thrash the authority. I asked for the number of their sahaab on that damn call-center again, which, I must apprecite, I got unreluctantly. These are the details of the conversation:

SDO: Hello?

Me: Sir I’m calling from Bima Nagar. I had submitted an application for BroadBand last tuesday. No-One’s at my place till now.

SDO: Aapka Phone No. Kya hai.

Me: Are bhenc##d phone no. bata bata ke pagal ho gaya hu. Kitni baar bataunga g###u.

SDO: Achha, aap Arjun ji Bol rahe hai kya?

Me: Ha ji…??

SDO: Sir aapka connection taiyyar hai, bas aake lagaana hai. Kal Subah karwa doonga.

Me: Thank you sir. (Disconnect)

And they did showed up today, Mr. SDM himself. He apologised for the delay and made all the connections himself. I’m not sure whether I’m in a position to change my opinion about BSNL. I leave it on you people. Please do let me know what do you think about this incident that happened with me. Does BSNL still suck or things are changing?

The only lesson I learnt from this incident is that the peon is always right!!!